Weblog

Thursday, 21 May 2009

  • I've come to the truth about my life

    by myself.

    After all this "psycho-bullshit" i had to put up with, i've done it alone.

    I've been like weeks thinking and wondering and reflecting, what you'd call a "rayada mental" in spanish.

    I've found my strongest trigger. For everything, my self harm, my low self steem, my blue days . The sad thing is that that trigger is also the one for my loudest laughs, my widest smiles and some of the happiest moments of my life.

    So, when i leave it (i'm determined to do this) my life will be finally completely and totally empty. As i feared it would happen. There will be only my ED, my hate and (i hope) my creativity {which comes to me in moments of suffering} left. But i'll be isolated.

    from the people

    from the world outside my head

Thursday, 07 May 2009

  • It occurs to me that the way life is run is completely wrong. It's headed towards the wrong things.

    Like, for example, why is it so important, to have a University degree? i mean, ok, to get a good job, BUT why is it required to get a well-paid job AND why is it important to have a good job? Why can't we just try to live, instead of trying to succeed? People were much happier before, there weren't so many problems, coz in fact there weren't so many kinds of problems .

    We are destroying the Earth, and we will eventually do... Global warming, the Ozone layer, endangered species, there are like 20 different types of pollution---AND we are also destroying ourselves... murders, kidnaps, rapes, fascism, racism, chauvinism, homophobia---or watching ourselves die... wars, poverty, hungern, marginalization--- just to name some. LIFE'S WRONG.

    There's another thing, the one i really wanted to write about.

    Control, ideas and people's dreams

    but i think i'll edit later, i'm kinda half stoned, i'm gonna get the other half

     

Wednesday, 29 April 2009

  • Truth is I'M FAT, i'm morbidly and disgustingly FAT. i have 9 trousers, only 3 fit me now coz they used to be baggy on me.

    How the fuck did i let myself SOOOO big??

    now i have no clothes (of course i'm not buying new, i'll fit again into those trousers), i have no willpower and i'm nothing special.

    i know i was slowly falling apart, and even though i wore size 34-36 (36 is equivalent to british size 8 and american size 6; and 34 is equivalent to american size 2) i never felt i had a beautiful thin body. That made me fall again into Bulimia and then into Compulsive Overeating. But they cannot see that. They want me fat and chubby and horrible.

    I'm gonna fit again in those trousers, by all means. I don't care if they're worried.

    Fuck them.

    Fuck my body

    Fuck my looks

    Fuck me

    ok, no, i'm too fat to have sex

    eeeewww.

Tuesday, 28 April 2009

  •  

    I've heard many times that at some point you wake up and look into the mirror and you can't recognize yourself. You just stand there staring at the image shown by the damn mirror while wondering how the fuck you got in that situation.

    That's what i've heard.

    But they forget something, something essenthial: The Choice.

    You chose to be there. You've made a lot of choices. All these choices have conformed what you are now, and what you will be.

    You wake up.

    You look into the mirror.

    and PAM!

    disappointment?

    sorrow?

    embarrassment?

    anxiety?

    confusion?

    shame?

    But there's still other choice to make, the one which can save you.

    NEVER WAKE UP

     

Thursday, 23 April 2009

  • some help

    For crying out loud I'm running from a comedown

    God forbid I know I've been a letdown

    Reaching for the sky while leaving in a gutter

    Kicking and screaming I am singing bloody murder

    I'm alive when I'm vulnerable

    I'm out of control, I'm losing my soul

    I can't be your angel when I'm living like a devil

    Can't be your lover when I'm living like a rebel

    Don't want your pity and I don't want your help

    Don't try and save me go take care of yourself

    I'm alive!

    Sick of the pain I'm sick of the sorrow

    Sick of today I'm sick of tomorrow

    I'm addicted to the misery in my head

    I better stop before I end up dead

    So I climb to the top just to fall to the bottom And I climb to the top just to fall to the bottom

    I just love this song, i can totally relate to it. well i guess everyone does in some way...

    Ok, i wanted to share with you some things i've learnt about the human body and weight loss, as i've realized not everyone might know these things and i think they help you

    #1 Boosting Your Metabolism

    1. Zig-Zag Calorie Intake-- Zig-zagging, or calorie cycling is varying daily calorie intake, while maintaining the same weekly intake. For example, instead of eating 500 kcal each day, try one day of 200 and another of 300, and so on.But always 3hour-space between meals

    2. Strength Training-- If you are not doing this as part of your program or lifestyle, then it's time to start. Working your muscles will help to strengthen bone tissue, increase lean mass, and ultimately boost metabolic rate.
    Because  muscles burn kcal, fat doesn't

    3. Get a dose of sunlight-- Exposure to bright light decreases melatonin and increases serotonin, shifting your body from sleep to awake mode and, in turn, revving your metabolic furnace," says health and psychology researcher Robert K. Cooper, Ph.D., author of the metabolism book 'Flip the Switch.'


    4. Take multivitamins --Antioxidant nutrients help protect mitochondria, tiny structures found in every cell, from damage; they're the microscopic fat-burning furnaces that convert food into fuel.

    5. Take some green tea-- Studies show that the polyphenol compounds in 2 to 4 cups may help raise metabolism by as much as 35 percent and encourage fat burning.

    6. Don't take too much caffeine-- I know, i know diet coke is perfect for cravings. However, too much of it, if there's not enough water, can make you lose less

     #2  Top 5 myths

     1. Is it worse to eat in the evening? it doesn't really matter when you eat, only how many calories you eat and burn in a day. Whether you're eating in the morning or at midnight, your body turns any extra calories into fat.

    2. Can I spot train my belly? Technically, there is no way to force weight to come off your stomach (or any other worrisome spots). The good news is cardio exercise is great for peeling off the pounds all over, whether your trouble spot is your tummy or your thighs!

    Crunches can help tone your tummy, but they don't actually reduce the weight carried there. A healthy diet and aerobic exercise can.

    3.Will muscle turn into fat?This is just an urban legend of sorts. Your muscle will not turn into fat if you stop working out. What will happen -- over time -- if you become inactive is your muscle will atrophy little by little.

    4. Staying cold helps you burn kcals. No, it might do so for a while. But when your body notices it's always cold, it'll make more fat to increase its temperature

    5. Drinking always cold water helps burn kcals. it does in fact burn like 0.02 kcal or something like that each mL of superfreezing water...so make calculations on how much water you have to drink.

    So this is it for now, if anything else comes to my mind i'll edit

    Hope this is useful!!

    Stay strong gurls


     

fatwillpass

  • Visit fatwillpass's Xanga Site
    • Member Since: 4/7/2009

About Me

  • I want my bones BACK!

Quotez

•No clothes look good on a FAT person•

•Nobody wants to see a FAT person dance•

•An imperfect body reflects an imperfect soul•

•Food's the most primitive form of comfort•

•Craving is only a feeling•

•I eat only what is necessary for survival. I can't help it that we live in a piggish society where gluttony is the norm, and everyone else is constantly stuffing themselves•

•If i eat something, then i'll eat everything. So i eat nothing•

•You can never be too rich or too thin•

•Do you believe in something beautiful? then get up and BE it•

•To fall is NOT to fail•

•When in doubt, go without•

•i'm not starving myself... i'm perfecting my emptiness•

•Bones define who we really are•

•They don't think i can do it, i'll prove them wrong•

••

GoaLz

() stop binges

() study!!

()finish the list

() fix my life

() 52 kG

()50 kG

()48 kG

()46 kG

()45 kG

()44 kG

()skinny legs

()see ribs

() see hips

()size 36

()become a better vegan

()read 3 books/month

()run 4 days/week

()100 abs/day

() 100 sit-ups/day

() stop procrastinating

() BE THIN